This topic hits close to home… people pleasing.
I love to give. I have a big heart. You relate?
This means I used to constantly throw my own desires on the backburner for other people’s success.
I thought to myself: “This is what I’m supposed to do right? The world needs me to sacrifice in order for me to do good in the world.”
Wrong. Lies, dirty lies.
The truth is, the world needs you to live out your desires and get what you want. Sounds great, right?
But if you’re like I was not that long ago, it also feels a little bit dirty to think about. Maybe you feel selfish. Guilty. Undeserving.
My biggest shift around this happened when I realized I was actually doing more of a disservice to the world by self-sacrificing that I was good. Here’s what I’ve learned… and how you can have that shift too.
People Pleasing Creates Toxic Relationships
Resentment, anger, frustration.
These negative emotions come from putting yourself last and feeling like no one understands your needs.
This is no way to create positive relationships. The world needs you to fill your own cup first… then serve others with the overflow.
When you’re able to help others from a place of love, kindness, and abundance, everyone benefits. You will build better relationships with others when your relationship with yourself is strong and built on fierce self-love.
Your boundaries aren’t about your relationship with others… they’re about your relationship with yourself.
People Pleasing Stops You From Becoming a Boss
You know you’re meant to drive change in your area of passion…
You feel it in your bones. Your heart swells when you think of your mission. And *hell to the yeah girlfriend* you’ve chosen to overcome the hard-wired fear in your brain to punch your way out of your comfort zone…
And live the dream of becoming an entrepreneur!
Nothing will brick wall you when it comes to achieving that success like people pleasing.
The habits of:
- Lifting others up first before filling your own cup
- Struggling to keep boundaries in place and succumbing to overwhelm
- Spreading yourself thin to support others in their dreams
… will all stop you from getting what you need to become a #BossWoman.
Think about attributes you admire in others you look up to.
Those come from creating a beautiful relationship with ourselves. A relationship where you love and respect yourself enough to have boundaries in place.
Sometimes this means saying no to others. To opportunities that don’t serve you… and therefore you can’t fully show up for in order to support them.
You Are a Supportive Good Person — Even Without Self-Sacrifice
Do you feel selfish when you’re focused on your own goals and desires?
Nothing is further from the truth. Being in alignment and only taking opportunities that will help you get to your end goals benefits you and the world.
When your boundaries and integrity are intact, you make decisions that make you feel good. In exchange, the interactions you have feel great for others, too.
In order to have an impact, drive change in your areas of passion and truly meet the financial goals you’re reaming about…
You’re going to have to break the mold.
That’s gonna mean turning down some opportunities. It’s going to mean saying ‘no’ to spending time on projects that won’t get you closer to your goal. It’s going to mean having a polarizing opinion in order to make safe space for those who need to hear your message.
These things are going to push a few buttons.
But as someone who’s meant for more… you’re ready to stand tall and trail blaze.
So get to it.