I’ve wandered out in the evening on a Friday, an experience I haven’t given myself yet since being here. The center, of course, has a completely different feel under the glow of electricity instead of the Mediterranean sun.
People are leaning on each other as they walk through the palace. The night is still young, and I assume the leans are that of lovers or friends versus that of drink. But who knows.
I’m sitting in La Bodega, sipping on a glass of Korlat Syrah as I write this.
I easily fall into a push of action when I’m uncomfortable… The push, hustle, and grind feels familiar and comfortable. What really stretches me is getting back into a flow.
It’s been an extra effort to close my laptop these last few days and step away. To be with me. To be alone in my thoughts.
The universe has been throwing signs by the way… A live stream by my coach and her biz bestie on the Happy Thoughts Show landed in my inbox on this exact topic.
A Ted talk I watched today referenced the psychological phenomenon of seeking out comfort… Even if it’s in pain. We are such creatures of our comfort zone that we’d rather suffer than change.
And so, here I am, again pushing to change.
To break old habits.
What I think, as I take in the young people around me — Both local and tourist — is how different our experiences of the same event are. I am here, immersing myself in Croatia, in a much different way than the average traveler.
Working. Wandering alone. Popping myself in corners to get odd glances as I sit alone and write these words.
It makes people uncomfortable even to see someone doing things differently. The lack of understanding and relatability makes them squirm.
Is it strange that I’m happy to be a source of discomfort? Potentially it fills an egotistical need to be different or unique somehow.
Soon, I’ll be off to explore some other parts of this country. I’m looking forward to the new experiences and yet I’m sad to leave this solitude, reflection, and vibrant setting.
Do we ever feel like we get enough out of a place?
If we plan too much, we sadden that we didn’t relax enough to absorb the energy of a place. And if we don’t plan enough, we wonder if we missed out on something.
This conundrum is a proverbial metaphor for so much of my current mind meanderings.
What is happiness?
Is it really, as our reality is our perception, this innate ability to find contentment in what simply is?
Yet, as someone who believes we manifest our desires, I truly believe it also is this clarity on where we are going… Then perhaps an ability to know everything currently happening to us will take us closer to that place. As long as we pull back to stay in the flow. As long as we have gratitude for the good… And the positivity of every marvel currently in our life.
To give you a feel for the setting, I’ve listened to “Karma Chameleon” by the Culture Club and “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye — Just a couple of the classics playing tonight.
The evening couldn’t be more perfect.